i wish.

today wouldve been. June 10, 2009. today wouldve been our 17 month anniversary.

i really miss him so much, but i guess i got to share a nice day with him.

oh so first off. i was having a very nice dream this morning. i wont disclose the details but it was about me and landon. anyway, i was getting better and better but then BAM i get a phone call which wakes me from my dream. Guess who it was. JONATHAN! and it was at 5:24 in the morning!! jeez does that retard know anything about sleep. i was so annoyed he ruined my dream. i hope i get another one like that again.

anywho, later that day i decided to go over to kims house cause analise wanted to play with mitchie. i didnt mind going over, i wanted to chill with kim anyway. anywho we got bored and decided to go for a walk. i told her i was gonna show her jonathan's house. we walked somewhat close but not even. we were just in view of his house when we stopped for a second and then turned around to walk back. We walked for a little bit, taking maybe 20 steps when suddenly i get a text from him saying something like "i saw you in my hood". Thats when i freaked out and ran. hahaha.

Me and kim got back to her house and decided to just chill on the front steps for a bit when landon passed by. I told him how Jonathan apparently saw me and Landon said he knew cause he was on the phone with jonathan and jonathan started freaking or something saying that he turned his head to look out the window and saw me turning around. Gosh i have bad timing. haha but im not complaining, cause after all of that, Landon just chilled there with me and Kim instead of going over to Jonathan's.

It was fun just messing around and everything. The only parts that made me kind of sad were when he mentioned michelle, cause of course i would get jealous.

Landon is coming over tomorrow. I hope it'll be fun and fine. I don't want to suddenly break down and cry again. I kind of feel like crying now for some reason. I dont know why but yeah. I just really miss him.

Today would've been 17 months. Today is suppose to be 17 months. We are still suppose to be together. Together forever. January 10, 2008; 2:59 PM. Always && Forever. I love him so much. I miss him. I need him. I wish i was his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend. I wish he would tell me he loves me. I wish i could tell him i love him.

What happened.