i hate being disappointed. i hate crying. i hate it when it's not the first time and only time. i hate that i know that i will be disappointed again and again.

i probably wouldn't be this upset if it was any other night and i could probably just see him the next day, however, this was probably the last night i could hang out with him in a while and he knew i wanted to spend the day with him. i gave him another chance and wanted to spend at least a couple of hours with him in the morning today until i had to go through hell for the rest of the week. i honestly don't think that's going to happen. disappointment once again. i wonder if he is gonna even try to make it up to me.